The proper use of social media (Public Communications 101) is something that has been on my mind for several months. I have pondered it at length and sought inspiration and counsel for how to address my concerns. It may be a sensitive issue to some so I want to be careful to not call out anyone individually. Rather, I want to approach it from the perspective that we all need to more conscientious of how we communicate via social media, and we can all improve in those communications. The last thing I would want to happen is to have anyone be offended in any way. So I will try to be as loving and gentle as I know how, and seek for heavenly guidance in my words. I want to apologize in advance for the lengthiness, but in spite of that would invite any and all feedback.
As most of my associates and my Ward members know, I love communication. My patriarchal blessing identifies it as one of the gifts Heavenly Father has blessed me with. I love to write, to teach, discuss, to debate, to read, and to compose poetry and other creative writings. I believe that communication in all of its forms is one of the most powerful tools at our disposal, hence the famous phrase coined by the English author Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1839, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” The world would be a much different place without the written word. In fact, I believe that someone has identified the top ten inventions of all time and the printing press was on the list because of its revolutionary ability to disseminate ideas and communication to the masses. With today’s technology and the unlimited power to mass distribute information on a global scale, it makes the printing press look as ancient and ineffective as the bow and arrow! In fact, without this incredible communication technology, you probably wouldn’t be getting this message as an email, but rather we’d be having a Sunday Fireside!
There’s also that great quote made even more famous by Spider-man, “With great power comes great responsibility.” In 1839 Mr. Bulwer-Lytton had no idea just how powerful the pen (communication technology) would become less than two centuries later. Granted, for the most part our ‘pen’ has evolved into a keyboard, and the colonial letter delivery system has developed into an automated mass distribution, fiber-optic network that can send messages at the speed of light to thousands - even millions, virtually anywhere on the planet, at any time, with a few simple strokes. There is incredible power available at our fingertips that would never have even been dreamed about just a few short decades ago.
The vehicles for using this power are varied and many. Email, Facebook, blogs, texting, letters to the editor, and other on-line and social medias are available to almost everyone with access to a cell phone, a computer, or the internet.
One of the wonderful things about this power is that it can be used for good or for bad, to build or to destroy, to encourage or to discourage, to uplift or to criticize. We have a personal responsibility to choose well how we use this power, and with that responsibility comes personal accountability. For many of us, we get to choose every day – sometimes, several times a day. How will you choose? To paraphrase a favorite Old Testament prophet, “Choose you this day how you will communicate… as for me and my house, we will choose the good, to build, to encourage, and to uplift” (Joshua 24:15 and a friend).
The Savior was crystal clear when He spoke about ‘commandments’. They give us the Celestial law on how to live and how to find ultimate peace and joy for this life and in the next. Probably the nucleus of all of His teachings were the commandments about Love. He said, “A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another” (John 14:15). I’ve often wondered how that could be a ‘new’ commandment. He was meeting with the eleven Apostles as Judas had just left in betrayal. After three years of being with the Savior on a daily basis, did not these great a faithful men intrinsically know that they should love one another? Were they not fully aware that the concept of charity was central to all that the Savior did and taught? I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I do know that it is a blessing to all of Christianity and the world at large to know the Savior of the world thought it was important enough to address it under the express heading of “Commandment”. Even further, He emphasized the doctrine of how we are to interact with each other in love by compelling us to, “Love our enemies, bless those that curse us, do good to those that hate us, and pray for those that despitefully use us, and persecute us” (Matthew 5:43-48). Loving those that don’t deserve it seems so contrary to the compulsions of human nature, and yet exactly the premise for entrance to celestial life, eternal peace, and everlasting joy – and the specific condition for being ‘perfect’ (Matthew 5:48).
We can use our words, written and spoken, to keep His commandments about Love. Along with our words, our actions and thoughts are additional opportunities to express Love and achieve a celestial lifestyle. With the incredibly broad impact that can come from our communication through social medias and modern technologies, how much more important is it to use these super-powers of communication to do the same?
With this perspective in mind, why would we ever want to publish for the masses our disappointments, personal discouragement, dirty laundry, accusations, or disagreements? We are striving to become a Zion people like those that lived in the City of Enoch. As a Zion people, we can choose to not offend as well as choose to not be offended. We should rise above negativity, criticism, and contentious words and build up one other – even in the midst of our own weaknesses and errors. We should be diligent in trying to consistently take the high road (perhaps the road less traveled) in all of our communications: at home – in our marriages and with our families, at work, at play, and in all of our electronic communications.
If we see something that needs correction in another, it should be considered at length, pondered and prayed over, and if we still feel the need to pursue it, it should be on a one-on-one basis and not broadcast for all. As with the proper use of the Priesthood, our communications under the guise of 'correction' should be done with “persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness… without hypocrisy, and without guile… showing forth afterwards an increase of love… with our bowels full of charity… with virtue garnishing our thoughts unceasingly…” (D/C 121:41-46). We should be more concerned and focused with the beam in our own eye than the mote in another’s (Matthew 7:1-5). And as Gandhi spoke and lived, we should focus on “Being the change we want to see in the world.”
Most times when we resort to broadcasting negativity, we further exacerbate the issue. It doesn’t help improve it at all; it not only makes it worse for the individuals involved, it expands those hurt feelings and negativity even further. If there were ever a case to support the description of ‘misery loves company’ this has got to be close. The widespread distribution of any negative communication is a form of contention. The Saints have been counseled from the dawn of time to avoid contention in all of its forms. The Savior spoke about it to the Nephites, again under the heading of ‘commandment’ when he said, “And there shall be no disputations among you, as there have hitherto been; neither shall there be disputations among you concerning the points of my doctrine, as there have hitherto been. For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirrethup the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away. Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, I will declare unto you my doctrine” (3 Nephi 11:28-31). If our communications are not edifying and uplifting we may want to consider them very, very cautiously.
One point that has been discussed in a few communications is Church callings. Callings to serve in the Church come from God through inspiration to imperfect people. Sometimes there is an overwhelming revelation about some callings, sometimes – more often, it is a modest, sweet, and peaceful, confirming feeling. Some confirmations come after exercising faith and extending the call. That said, not all callings seem to work as we may think they should. What I have discovered is that in the rare instances where a calling doesn’t seem to work, there is always an opportunity for the individual to do some introspection, resolve to make some personal changes in their life, and an opportunity to feel of the Lord’s love for them. I have come to understand that sometimes, in those rare cases, that self-evaluation, and opportunity to open a door for the Lord's spirit to reach an individual, was the total purpose for extending the calling. There are many more reasons why a person receives a particular calling than 'they were the best person' available. I know that intrinsically, without a second of hesitancy for my own calling - there are many other brethren in our Ward that I believe would be much better - but that doesn't stop me from doing the best I can with the unique package of talents and shortcomings the Lord's blessed me with.
Why would we ever criticize another person’s call or how they are performing in their call? And why would we ever make it a comment to be broadcast through electronic and social media? I can’t think of a reason to ever do so as a member of the Church. If there ever is an instance where a comment might possibly be appropriate, the method should be one-on-one after much consideration, pondering, and prayer and in the manner as stated above.
Personal trials are just that, personal. What some struggle to discover is that trials are in reality gifts from God, giving us exactly what we need to learn and grow and progress, and eventually succeed in mortality. We should find gratitude for them – just as we are compelled by the Savior, “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in ALL things” (my emphasis – D/C 59:7). If we are complaining about our trials or bemoaning them, it will be very difficult, if not impossible to be grateful for them. My personal belief is that we agreed to our unique set of trials (and blessings), and excitedly accepted them as part of our individual test for mortality. How we respond to them is a measure of how much faith and trust we have in our Heavenly Father. Our trials are nothing more than unrevealed blessings that will help us develop more faith, learn to properly and righteously exercise agency, and deepen our relationship with our Heavenly Father and His Son. (That, in my humble opinion should be a bumper sticker!) As we learn and apply this mostly hidden principle there are great and eternal blessings in store for us. When we complain and are resentful of our challenges, in a way we are telling God that He doesn’t know what He’s doing and that he doesn’t know what’s best for us. We discredit His ability to uniquely give us exactly and specifically what we need to help refine us so that we can become who we are supposed to become and one perfect day (D/C 50:24) successfully return to Him.
I once heard a man in Testimony Meeting say that he loved the trials and challenges in his life. He had been through some excruciating experiences that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I was taken aback by what he said and sat there in unbelief that he was sincere in his claim, or worse, that he was certifiably crazy! He was my neighbor over the back fence of my yard. he was the Chief of Police in a neighboring city. He was a prominent and successful man. Over time I learned what he meant by what he said. I found him more sincere and humble than I'd previously thought possible. And I respected him immensely for it. He shared with me that in every one of his trials he had learned some previously hidden spiritual treasure about who God is (John 17:3) and what God was trying to have him accomplish with his life. He said that with every new trial he knew it was another chance to get to know his Heavenly Father better, and he cherished, and even looked forward to those special trials he referred to as ‘God-given opportunities’. What a great example of faith! I learned a lot from this experience and hope to someday be able to have that much faith!
When it comes to personal trials we might want to consider keeping them mostly to ourselves if they are centered in our personal disappointment or discouragement in life. Or in sharing, do it judiciously and in more intimate circles where greater understanding of the situation can be better understood. So, what is the appropriate reaction when we’re hurting? Broadcasting it to the masses usually doesn’t bring much resolution or satisfaction. However, celebrating and glorifying God (John 11:39-46) for the growth and understanding and miracles that come as we are faithful through our trials is a completely different thing. What a blessing those experiences can be for us and for others as we communicate them with the purpose of building up and sharing the hope that comes from the Source of All Hope (1 Timothy 1:1).
What is the appropriate reaction to anger and frustration? Does broadcasting it make those emotions any better? Any more bearable? Or is it just the ‘misery loves company’ thing again? We should try at all costs to avoid having a contentious and argumentative spirit. No matter how we justify it, the Adversary is the Father of Contention (3 Nephi 11:29). The scriptures contain several verses that help us know the best way to respond. It would do us all well to spend an hour pondering the verses on Charity. Perhaps spend another hour studying the references on Patience. It would do us well to consider studies on Forgiveness, Humility, Faith, Repentance, Being Slow to Anger, Controlling our Tongues, and other virtues – “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things” (Article of Faith 13). These verses provide the perfect counsel on how to react with anger and frustration.
Another verse that’s caught my attention and humbled me as I had frequently done just the opposite comes directly from the Savior again. He counseled us to not call other’s ‘fools’ (i.e. crazy, idiot, dip wad, corn cob, knucklehead, and worse… my personal favorite was corn cob!). He said that if we do we are “in danger of hell fire” (Matthew 5:22). If I had to guess, I would think that means that we’re on the path that leads to a not so pleasant place. Why would that be? Some people surely are idiots – my path seems to cross with theirs a couple times a week on I-15! In trying to make sense of it, I’ve come to the conclusion that anytime we criticize someone else we are in some sense being critical our Heavenly Parents. So, I’ve cut way back on identifying them as Corn Cobs and am practicing my improved thoughts and words to refer to them as, “my poor brother (or sister), may you be blessed and arrive safely at your destination.” I’m getting better at saying it with more and more sincerity too. So, as it applies to our mass communications, name calling would not be becoming of Latter-day Saints, especially with our somewhat unique knowledge from the Plan of Salvation, where all of the world’s inhabitants come from, and how they're related.
Hopefully we would never find any satisfaction in discussing or broadcasting someone else’s failings or mistakes. I can’t think of anything that would be more opposite than having a Christ-like personality. To me, it is a humbling thought to know how the judgment process will work. The Savior and His representatives have been clear on the matter: “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again” (Matthew 7:1-2). With that concept fully ingrained in our minds we should base each of our comments (said or written) with as much kindness, understanding, and love as humanly possible. When we exercise forgiveness without condition we learn more about the Savior, His Atonement, and how we can become more like Him.
In the new Church Handbook of Instructions there is a brief section about social media that offers some wonderful insight. It reads, “Members are encouraged to be examples of their faith at all times and in all places, including on the Internet. If they use blogs, social networks, and other Internet technologies, they are encouraged to strengthen others and help them become aware of that which is useful, good, and praiseworthy. When appropriate, members are encouraged to mention the Church and to link to and share approved Church materials. When members use the Internet for purposes other than Church callings, they should understand that the message they give is personal. They should not give the impression that they represent or are sponsored by the Church” (emphasis mine).
How we use the wonderful tool of communication with friends, in social circles, or in social media is up to us. We can use it to set proper examples for our children and young adults. We can use it to do so much good. How we use it is a reflection of us individually as well as of our faith. We can use it in ways that will promote all that is right and positive. Our religion is now being put in the world limelight as perhaps it has never before been. We can do our part to show the world the goodness and happiness and peace that Latter-day Saints enjoy by how we communicate consistently and sincerely in love.
In closing, I wrote something earlier this year titled “The Power of Words”. It reminds me of our responsibility in how we choose to use the incredible God-given power of communication.
The Power of Words
Words can create peace, or war.
Words can inspire love, or hate.
Words can be the difference between building, or destroying.
Words can heal, or wound.
Words can cause life, or death.
Words can define friendship, or enmity.
Words can promote growth, or depression.
Words can lift the soul up, or push it down.
Words can signify our strengths, or our weaknesses.
Words can be tools of godliness, or tools of all that's not.
Words can affect unity, or division.
Words can expressly motivate, or deridingly discourage.
Words can generate ecstatic joy, or miserable fear.
Choosing the right words, at the right time, for the right reasons,
Is part of our inherent agency and a responsibility we all bear.
Using the right words can make all the difference,
And change the world into a significantly better place to live.
– bishop Wm. Calvin Hughes – Lake Elsinore, CA - April 20, 2011
“If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body” (James 3:2). Something we can certainly all improve on and work towards.
If we truly want to live together in the presence of our Heavenly Parents and our Savior, as celestial beings in the Celestial Kingdom, then we have to figure out how to treat each other in mortality. How we treat each other is significantly governed by the words we use with and toward one other. We have to learn the priority of love and charity over all other virtues – “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity” (1 Corinthians 13:13).
I love every member of the Loving Lake Elsinore Ward. I don’t know how to exactly put those feelings of love into the exact right words. Hopefully you know it. Hopefully my words here have not been offensive in any way. I needed the reminder as much or more than anyone. Our second Ward Goal for the last four years has been to "Increase Ward Unity". Committing to improving our communications will promote greater unity in our marriages, our homes, and in our Ward Family immediately.
Thank you for enduring to the end of this long communication. As a suggestion, you might consider this as a topic for Family Home Evening. Again, I welcome your thoughts and comments (email me at LE.Bishop@yahoo.com).
Some additional resources on this subject you might find useful:
• http://lds.org/pages/social-media-helps?lang=eng&query=social+media
• http://lds.org/church/news/using-social-media-for-gospel-purposes?lang=eng&query=social+media
• http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/waiting-on-the-road-to-damascus?lang=eng
• http://lds.org/media-library/using-media-for-sharing-the-gospel?lang=eng&query=social+media
Rambling in California - Wm. Calvin Hughes
August 30, 2011
No comments:
Post a Comment