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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Dealing with Pains from the Past


I loved this quote! 

These are powerfully wise words. 

There should be a required class in High School that teaches kids the correct tools and processes they can use to adequately deal with past pain. I don't know of a person on the planet that wouldn't benefit in some way.

“You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them” 


― Iyanla Vanzant, Yesterday, I Cried

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Bio: Wm. Calvin Hughes


Who am I?

Well, I write poetry, I sing in the shower, I sell insurance, and I've been going to Church for over a half a century. And yes, I’m a Mormon.

My name is Calvin, I was named after one of my dad's High School teachers. I'm the oldest of seven. I am a college graduate holding two bachelor degrees in business. I’m happily married, a father of six, and grandfather of six. I was lucky enough to marry my high school sweetheart. 

As I said, I've been going to my Church for more than half a century. With my whole heart I believe in the redemptive and saving powers that are only available and exclusively accessible through God's Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. I grew up a member of and am actively involved in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love the Savior. 

My heart is open to learn truth from wherever it may come. I have found that no one, no particular belief system, or no particular faith holds the corner on the market of truth. Some people or groups may have more or less than others, but I sincerely believe that we can learn truth from just about everyone that is sincere, has an open heart, and has committed their life to the Savior. 

The following is an expression of my personal conviction about the relationship between Jesus Christ and His Church:  "Everything about the Church, everything we do in the Church, every plan, every activity, every hymn, every program, every principle, every instruction, every commandment, every meeting, every calling, and every event is based in the singular purpose of bringing people to the Savior Jesus Christ, expanding our love for, and deepening our relationship with Him." I believe that with all of my heart. And I believe that most of the members of my Church feel the same way.

Why I'm a Mormon? I have a personal testimony of the Savior, Jesus Christ and have dedicated my life to Him and promoting His work. I know that He lives. That He suffered for my sins in the Garden of Gethsemane and that He died for me. That He paid the price for my sins that I could never pay for myself. That He, of His own free will Atoned for me and opened the door that I might live again and be with Him again someday. 

I have felt His presence in my life and heard His voice. He has comforted me, healed me, answered my prayers, lifted me up, and blessed my life in immeasurable ways. He is the reason for being, for my every breath. I have dedicated my life to Him. My marriage and my family are dedicated to Him.   

Several years ago, as a young man I dedicated two years, twenty-four hours-a-day to His service and serving His children. It was one of the greatest and most rewarding and spiritual experiences of my life. Since then I have tried to continue that dedication to Him as much as possible by continuing to serve His children. I have consecrated my life and covenanted to give Him all that I have, and all that I will ever have; all that I am, and all that I'll ever hope to be. I am committed to living my life so that anyone I ever meet, should without question understand unequivocally my personal dedication to Him, and that He is the central focus of my being.  

I love the idea that The Church of Jesus Christ is not a break-off or reformation from any other organized religion. As I understand it, there are somewhere around 25,000 to 30,000 different Christian faiths in the United States alone. The members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints consider our Church as being restored from the original Church of Jesus Christ, with living prophets and apostles. An actual restoration of the original Christian Church's organizational structure and doctrinal beliefs. I'm a Mormon because of the happiness and peace that we enjoy as members in the Church, and the personal relationship I have with my Savior.

I know that if I have any chance at salvation it will only come through complete reliance and trust in my Lord and Savior. Some may think that I belong to a "cult". Regardless of what they may say or believe, I've found a wealth of truth and comforting peace, a deep and abiding love, and an undeniable relationship with my Savior in an incredibly amazing Church. 

In my family we're faithful in saying our personal and family prayers, studying the scriptures, in attending Sabbath Day services, and in our tithes and offerings. We serve our family, our neighbors, and in the Church because He served others all the days of His life, and we want to be like Him. We're certainly not perfect - not by any means, but we try to keep the commandments and live lives of righteousness. Even so, we fully rely on the merits of the Savior's infinite and eternal Atoning sacrifice. His Atonement is our only hope of salvation and a reconciliation with Him and our Father in Heaven, someday in His glorious Kingdom of Heaven.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Mending Troubled Relationships


MENDING TROUBLED RELATIONSHIPS
Most of our hurt and frustrations in life come from troubled relationships. It’s true when we have difficulties with our parents, our spouse or children, with siblings, neighbors and even with friends and work associates. Troubled relationships can be the collective thorn in our sides throughout life, causing unbearable amounts of pain, stress, loneliness and devastation. Usually we view our contribution to the trouble as minimal, and we easily justify our side of the situation and our subsequent reactions.
And in addition, adding even more fuel to the fire, we maximize the other party’s guilt! Many times even fabricating great fictional stories, reading more from in between the lines than the actual words, turning molehills into Everest’s. And to what end? To the end of maintaining our pride. To the end of holding on to the hurt and pain and devastation month after month, year after year. To the end of protecting those sacred mantras of: “I’m right and you’re wrong!” and “I’m good and you’re bad!” and “I’m an understanding person and you’re incredibly stubborn!”
So, what’s a better solution? The solution may not be easy, but it’s certainly easier than the consequences of holding on to years of troubled relationships. We have to swallow our pride, humble ourselves and assume the entire blame for our hurting relationships! Only then can complete healing begin to occur and eventually our soured relationships can thrive beyond measure.
But it takes incredible humility and faith. Something most of us find tremendously hard to do. Accepting all of the responsibility may not seem fair, but it's not about being fair, it's about mending, building and maintaining thriving relationships. Ultimately, we have to make a critical choice ― would we rather be right or would we rather be loved?
It's amazing how many of us and how many times we would rather be right! And the terrible result is continuing those unhealthy damaged and broken relationships. So, sadly we sit in misery, but full of pride and let the years roll by.
If it was about being fair, the Savior would have never come to earth. But He did. And amazingly, He took responsibility for 100% of the blame ― every sin or thought about sin that would ever be committed. Incredibly, He deserved none of it, 0% of the blame. So why did He do it? One reason I believe is that He wanted the relationship more than He cared about what was fair, or more than He cared about who was to blame. He wanted love more than He wanted to be right! Perhaps that's why we are reminded in the scriptures that we are less than the dust of the earth (Hel. 12:7). It takes an uncommon humility to accept that kind of blame, and to totally bury our pride. But when we do, oh how our relationships can thrive!
And when we do, hold on, because we're going to experience love in our lives like we've never experienced it before.
Kind of makes total sense that “God is love” (1 John 4:8).
_______________________________________________________________

Wm. Calvin Hughes
March 15, 2014 – Lake Elsinore, California
Dedicated to my dad, William "Bill" Evans Hughes
in commemoration of his birthday March 15, 1940

We miss you so much dad!

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Satan's Plan For Mortality



HOW DID SATAN PRESENT HIS PLAN FOR MORTALITY?
_______________________________________________
(Something I've been thinking about for years, but just started putting in writing. I welcome your thoughts.) 
________________________________________________ 
Here's a glimpse of how I believe Satan’s Plan for Mortality would have been presented. What it would have looked like in reality would have been completely different!  The presentation was no more than an attractive and well-planned façade, intentionally meant to deceive and lure Heavenly Father’s children away from Him.      
But first, I want to try to attempt to put the presentation of Satan’s plan into context... 
After reading it, I’m hoping that you can see why a third part of Heavenly Father's children could have been deceived and saw Satan’s Plan as a very attractive plan. 
Also, it’s helpful to remember that a third part of the hosts of heaven most likely represents a third part of ALL of the population of ALL of the worlds created by the Savior. We are told by Moses that the Savior created ‘worlds without number’. These worlds, maybe millions or billions, were created to be inhabited by Heavenly Father's children – so that they could experience mortality, gain a physical body, be tested and have the opportunity of being exalted into a Kingdom of Eternal Glory. All of which for the express purpose of fulfilling our foremost and fondest desire of becoming more like our Heavenly Parents. Our Heavenly Father, and our Savior loved us so much that they wanted to make that possibility a reality! 
But the point is, that there were billions upon billions of our spirit brothers and sisters that although deceived, saw merit in Lucifer's plan and willingly followed him. What's unthinkably sad is that they most likely thought that WE were the ones who were deceived for choosing to follow Heavenly Father's plan! 
Life is hard (please see my poem ‘Life is Supposed to be Hard’), but I'm glad we chose Father’s Plan, and I'm forever grateful that our Eldest Brother did exactly what He promised to do in the Plan. Because of that, this mortality, however difficult it may be for us, can culminate in the realization of our foremost and fondest dreams of becoming like our Heavenly Parents. With Heavenly Father's Plan, and the Savior fulfilling His role in the Plan, dreams really can come true! 
So, with that premise, here's a glimpse of how I think Satan's plan for mortality would have been presented in the council in heaven…
 
·         No flat tires, no dead batteries - in flashlights or cars.
·         No tow trucks, your car never runs out of gas.
·         No stop signs or red lights
·         Never a late plane or train or bus, everything is always on time.
·         No disobedient children, no runaways.
·         No bounced checks, no over-the-limit credit cards, no bill collectors.
·         No failure, no accountability, no criticism. 
·         No pets ever die prematurely - not even goldfish.
·         No abusive parents, no annoying neighbors, no weeds in the yard.
·         No "No Trespassing" signs, no unhappy campers.
·         No stock market crashes, no economic downturns - - in fact there are no bad investments.
·         No holes in your socks, your tee shirts, or your Levi's, and your shoes never wear out.
·         No unhappiness, no toiling or strife.
·         No gossip or back-stabbing.
·         Nothing but straight A's on every assignment, on every test, and in every class.
·         Everyone is a valedictorian.
·         Everyone earns their doctorate degree, with honors, if they want it.
·         Everyone is a Noble Peace Prize winner, if they want to be.
·         No unfaithful spouses, no cheating on taxes.
·         No layoffs or Reduction-in-Force experiences in the work place.
·         No foreclosures or bankruptcies.
·         No garbage or garbage trucks or garbage day!
·         No broken TV's, broken garbage disposals, or clogged toilets.
·         No broken windows, burned out light bulbs, or faulty garage door openers.
·         No computer viruses.
·         No addictive substances or substance abuse.
·         No drunk drivers, ever.
·         No acne, no headaches, no stress.
·         No wrinkles, no gray hairs, no arthritis.
·         No sun burns, no broken bones, no stitches or scars.
·         No bloody noses, no black eyes.
·         No aches or pains, bad backs, bum knees, or tennis elbows.
·         No injections, inoculations, medicines or blood draws.
·         No donating of blood.
·         Easy, simple, made-to-order child birth - - no labor - - like ordering a pizza (do you want pepperoni with that?)
·         No old folk's homes.
·         Every steak is superbly tender and perfectly cooked.
·         Every movie gets an Oscar and has a happy ending.
·         Every book is a New York Times bestseller.
·         Every newspaper is full of good and happy news - not one line about bad news.
·         Everything is always on sale - nothing is too expensive.
·         Everyone lives in a mansion - everyone has their own pool.
·         Everyone gets front row seats at the basketball game.
·         Everyone gets fifty-yard line seats at the football game.
·         No disappointment, no discouragement or depressing experiences, no let-downs.
·         No eye glasses, no hearing aids, no crutches or wheel chairs.
·         No handicapped parking - - everyone gets front row parking.
·         No extreme weather - no floods, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis, droughts, wind storms, snow storms, ice storms, rain storms, volcanic eruptions, wild fires, etc. - - every day is just another day in paradise!
·         No trike, bike, motorcycle or automobile accidents.
·         No traffic jams.
·         No missed shots in basketball.
·         Every batter hits a home run in baseball.
·         No attempts on goal in hockey as every shot scores.
·         Same for soccer - every kick scores.
·         Every time a fisherman casts his line he pulls in a fish.
·         Every first down is a touchdown in football and no missed point-afters.
·         Every bowling game scores a perfect 300.
·         Every golf swing results in a hole-in-one.
·         Every lottery ticket is a winner.
·         Nothing ever gets lost.
·         No starvation, no unruly dictators, no scandals in government, no political strife
·         No crime in any form, no jails, no policemen or firemen or ambulances.
·         No suicide, no oppression, no poor, no hungry, no desolation.
·         No pestilence, no gluttony, no pride, no envy, no lust, no jealousy.
·         No anger, no greed, no slothfulness.
·         No dirty dishes, no dirty clothes, no dirty cars, no dirty windows, no dirty toilets or bath tubs.
·         No terror, no horror, no fear, no murder, no rape.
·         No Stalin's, no Hitler's, no Saddam Hussein's, no Osama bin Laden's
·         No character, no principle, no morality.
·         No integrity, no maturity, no humanity, no service to your fellow men, no compassion, no sacrifice, no lack of self-esteem
·         Nobody has to work for anything.
·         No prudence, no temperance, no courage or justice.
·         No love, no hope, no faith.
·         No humility, no kindness, no patience, and no diligence.
·         No kindness, no fortitude, no justice, no temperance or prudence.
·         No one needing clothes, no sick, no prisoners.
·         No sin, no abortion, no infertility, no unwanted pregnancy and no unwanted children - - no orphans or orphanages.
·         No need for patience, no need for compassion.
·         No feelings of loneliness or discouragement.
·         No one has a care in the world!
·         No wisdom, no learning, no growth, no progress, no improvement.
·         No spirituality, no scriptures, no commandments.
·         No mysteries, no paradoxes, no discoveries.
·         No weight struggles - - either with being overweight or underweight.
·         No plastic surgery.
·         No lawsuits or lawyers.
·         No sickness, no disease, no nurses or doctors or hospitals.
·         No blindness, no lame, no halt, or maimed.
·         No amount of junk food is bad for you.
·         No guilt, no consequences.
·         No choice, because there's no agency!
·         No bad days... ever!
·         No feelings of remorse or sorrow, no need for repentance.
·         Everything is easy, nothing is hard.
·         Everything is simple, nothing is challenging.
·         No baptismal fonts, no priesthood, no prophets or apostles.
·         No churches, no seminaries, no temples, no prayer.
·         No Holy Ghost.
·         No virgin birth, no manger holding the Babe of Bethlehem.
·         No miracles.
·         No Atonement.
·         No crucifixion, and no resurrection.
·         No Savior.
·         No God.
·         No eternal reward.
·         Not a care... I say NOT A SINGLE CARE in the world!
 
And that is my opinion of at least a glimpse of how Satan's Plan for Mortality would have been presented to the heavenly council. I can imagine that if it were laid out with the right passion, combined with some subtle deception and clever deceit, the holding back of some pertinent details, that it would be a very enticing, very luring, very attractive and very tempting Plan for Mortality. So much so that a third part of the heavenly hosts bought into it. And so much so, that there are occasions where some of us (maybe most of us) would think that parts of his plan would be nice for us! But, remember, IT WAS ALL A BIG LIE! There would have been nothing attractive, nothing appealing, and nothing valuable about it. Had it been implemented, it would have been the worst disasters in the history of the all eternity. 

However, our Wise and All-Knowing Heavenly Father knew that Lucifer’s plan had absolutely no merit, that it wouldn’t work. We should take some time to ponder and appreciate the beauty and the completeness of our Heavenly Father's Plan for Mortality (also known as ‘The Plan of Happiness’). With His Plan, we should be especially grateful for the potential of life after mortality. Clearly, Heavenly Father’s Plan WAS the better choice – in fact, there really was NO OTHER CHOICE! Rest assured, no matter how hard life may be, or how difficult it may get, our choice to go with Heavenly Father's Plan (which ALL of us did!) was the right one. 
The Devil STILL wants us to believe that we were somehow deceived and that his plan is still the more attractive option. But don't let him tempt you. Like a wise man once said, "I don't allow myself to think about it." Regarding Satan's Plan for Mortality, we would do well to follow that counsel! 
Instead we should appreciate with greater reverence and awe the wondrous and perfect Plan for Mortality, the Plan of Salvation authored by our Father in Heaven. Likewise, we should have an unending gratitude for our Father’s Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, and His central and defining role in the Plan. For it was through the Atonement of our Elder Brother, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, the Redeemer and Savior of the World, who perfectly performed His role in the Plan that it’s all worth it; that we can have the chance to fulfill our grandest dream of becoming like our Heavenly Parents! Indeed, because of Him, our dreams can come true! 
I so testify in His Holy Name. 
_______________________________________ 
Wm. Calvin Hughes

March 1, 2014 ~ Lake Elsinore, California